Journey Through Kundalini: Terror, Ecstasy, and Transformation | Marcus Hamill #129

Imagine returning from a serene holiday only to be thrust into a world where your deepest fears and brightest epiphanies collide. 

Embark on a transformative journey with Yoga teacher Marcus Hamill as he shares the unexpected onset of his Kundalini awakening post-vacation. On this episode we explore the delicate dance between terror and bliss, unraveling personal encounters with this mystifying energy that is Kundalini 🐍.

This episode delves into the night when Marcus faced the raw terror and ecstasy of confronting his inner darkness, revealing the resilience of the human spirit. As we emerge into the light of understanding, we discuss the non-linear progression of healing, the guidance of teachers & mentors, and the anchoring practices that become the most useful during these challenging times.

Join us for a profound exploration of consciousness, where every breath brings self-discovery and every heartbeat echoes the mantra of our collective transformational odyssey. Trust in the divine order becomes the guiding force, reconnecting with our true Selves, overcoming fear, and embracing the non-linear path to healing. Tune in for an immersive experience, breathing deeply into the essence of kundalini awakening and self-discovery.

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
🐍 Journey Into Kundalini
🐍 Personal Experiences With Kundalini
🐍 Facing Inner Darkness
🐍 The Journey Towards Understanding
🐍 Guidance and Mentorship - The Light Of Guru
🐍 Reconnecting With The Younger Self

ABOUT OUR GUEST: Marcus Hamill

The Sattva Life co-founder Marcus Hamill, is a Master trained Sattva Meditation, Breathwork and Kriya Yoga teacher, Therapeutic Breathwork facilitator, and expert in the field of consciousness and human potential. Marcus has a unique ability to illuminate the depths of these ancient wisdom practices, in a style that is grounded and highly relevant to modern life.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

an insight into Marcus Hamill's very personal story of his one month radical Kundalini awakening. Welcome to the Vital Veda Show. I am your host, dylan Smith. I'm an aeratic practitioner and holistic health educator who explores various fields of consciousness, of spirituality, of health, of medicine. I'm a medicine on this podcast, the Vital Veda Podcast, in my clinic I've seen a handful a minority, but a handful of people who are undergoing quite a radical Kundalini awakenings.

Speaker 1: 0:41

I've decided to create this series of people's personal stories of their Kundalini awakening experiences in this podcast episode and intertwining it throughout the Vital Veda Podcast you'll see various stories starting to pop up. This is the first personal share and quite a significant, incredible story you are about to hear from Marcus Hamill the first time he shared this and it's very personal and it's beyond. It's going to make you feel something in your heart. I'll leave that to you. But what is Kundalini? First of all, it's a dormant energetic force in the human organism with a potential to blossom into creative intelligence, to awaken super mental capabilities, but also can manifest as a very dark, intense energy and experience. It can manifest into so many things, this energy, this dormant energy which is in everyone. So I've done a whole podcast on Kundalini Previously. You can check that out as an introduction to these series of people's personal shares and get to know this energy of Kundalini more.

Speaker 1: 1:51

Marcus Hamill is a friend of mine. He runs Satva Life, or the Satva Life, which is a hymn, and his partner teach meditation and teach yoga and kriya in the various yoga, vedantic Sciences and Wisdom, based in the northern beaches of Sydney, australia, but have an online community and a wonderful Instagram page, the Satva Life. Check them out, they're awesome and get to know him. He's also a father of two, as we speak about. He loves surfing, he's a hardcore surfer and he's just classical northern Australian or northern New South Wales, northern Sydney. Sorry, beach boy and this is the point of this podcast is interviewing people from all walks of life, from kind of ordinary people having these remarkable experiences, and with Marcus, although he does teach yoga and practices, it came spontaneously while on a vacation, really doing the least amount of yoga he's ever done, so we're going to get into that Once again.

Speaker 1: 2:48

I do recommend to refer back perhaps first if you're not so familiar with Kundalini and even if you are to get my overview and my understanding of Kundalini, as well as some people's experiences I've shared in that initial, initial podcast episode. So let me know what you think the point of this series is to make Kundalini more normal, to make these radical experiences more accepted. Because, if not, what happens is people consider these people as mad or crazy or psychotic when they're going through or experiencing that Kundalini in a radical way, especially when it's expressing itself as a dark, intense energy, and even if it's a beautiful, blissful, ecstatic energy from the outside, people who aren't familiar with this can still look at these people who are experiencing this and think they're experiencing a psychotic episode. So it's really just a spiritual, energetic force which is manifesting for a variety of reasons. But again, to learn more about that, check out the first episode that I recorded on a Kundalini. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Much love, hi Marcus. Tell us about yourself, hi.

Speaker 2: 4:02

Dylan. My name is Marcus Hummel. I'm a 53-year-old father of two. My eldest just turned 18. I used to work in the film industry actually as a film director, commercial director primarily and around about 10 or 12 years ago I started teaching meditation and then, you know, that's grown over the years and now I teach really the whole system of Sattva Yoga. So meditation, breath work, kriya.

Speaker 1: 4:37

Beautiful and you're doing that pretty basically full-time with your wife.

Speaker 2: 4:41

It's been full-time for quite a number of years now. So it started off teaching meditation part-time while I was still directing, and then my wife and I have been running the Sattva Life for quite a number of years now and it's very much full-time.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Right, and so you had a quote-unquote Kundalini experience. Was it last year? What do we 2023? Was it last year? Wasn't? It yeah. And it went on for a reasonable amount of time. So tell us about your story.

Speaker 2: 5:09

Yeah, so strange paths to Kundalini awakening. I mean, I've been doing practice, this sort of practice, for a long time and I guess originally beginning with meditation but then really deepening into the yogic practices with a lot of breath and kriya work as well. But actually it started on a plane on the way home from the Maldives after a tropical holiday of surfing and, I would say, largely doing the least amount of practice that I'd done in recent years.

Speaker 1: 5:39

Fascinating.

Speaker 2: 5:40

I mean I was, I was meditating, keeping up my meditation practice, and that was pretty much it. We were living the tropical holiday, surfing every day, hanging out in the sun, swimming, and I was on my way home I was really tired. I was on the plane. I was watching a really bad movie. I wasn't meditating, I had meditated on the plane. I don't remember the movie I was watching, but I remember that partway through it I started having a full, a full on kind of eyes open spiritual experience that it felt like an out of body experience and interestingly it came with a lot of darkness. It came it didn't feel euphoric Like I'd associated previous kind of experiences like that with. It felt really kind of dark and frightening. And I was on this plane and I could not get out of that state and so I was eyes open, eyes closed, meditating, not meditating made no difference. So whole flight pretty much from Maldives to Singapore and then walking around that airport was a very strange experience I felt.

Speaker 2: 6:52

there's that Niles Barkley song where the lyrics say even my emotions had an echo and so much space. That's what it felt like. It felt like all my thoughts, all my emotions and things were so. I was so deep inside itself and it was all this kind of echoy space and I was trying to deal with my daughters and airports and all these things. Oh, they're with you, they're with me, yeah, and trying to like kind of navigate all that and trying to snap myself out of it, and I couldn't get out of it.

Speaker 1: 7:18

And then when you got the next flight, was it I actually?

Speaker 2: 7:22

ended up falling asleep, Okay, Just before the next flight, and after sleep I kind of came back feeling a lot more stable and I slept quite a bit on the next flight. Got home that day and just sort of thought, oh that was an interesting experience and I put it aside and I got on with my day. And then that night going to bed it came back again and it came on really strongly and with a lot of fear and a lot of resistance. I don't remember kind of launching up out of bed trying to snap myself out of it and there was just, yeah, I couldn't get out of it, I was fully in it. So Cas was with me and she was just trying to calm me down. I was pretty much in a full panic attack actually to be honest, I was feeling a lot of fear.

Speaker 2: 8:11

I ended up from memory I think I was up all night that night. I couldn't too much energy to sleep. I wasn't at this stage. I wasn't putting it down to being a Kundalini experience, because it was actually. This is an interesting part of it. It was much more of a consciousness experience than anything I could feel in the body.

Speaker 1: 8:30

I'd had.

Speaker 2: 8:30

Kundalini experiences. You know, various subtle forms and through practice, where the body was shaking and energy was moving, but this very much felt like a consciousness experience and the fear was really related to resistance, which we can talk more about, but it was very much I could feel myself going into a space that felt like a void and there was a lot of resistance to it.

Speaker 1: 8:56

And when you say consciousness based, you mean your body felt kind of fine, like although your body was panicking. It was really a kind of mental conscious experience. It was panicking in response to a consciousness experience.

Speaker 2: 9:12

There would have been definitely a heart and energy, for sure that was coming with that, but it wasn't moving through my body in a way that felt stabilizing or anything like that.

Speaker 1: 9:20

It was very much a mental state and one of my questions is because we're just beginning this story like there's much more to it, but you mentioned the past Kundalini quote unquote experiences. I mean, were you one of those people in the past too, and you would know, as you teach a lot of people meditation and yoga, some people have a lot of Kundalini experiences, not to the extent that you're explaining your story, but whether it's feeling energy in the spine or feeling the chakras tingle or having visions or dreams. Even someone who does lucid dreaming is very specific people who are more prone to that I can see it all the time in my clinic and some people just kind of more mundane. They're just like, yeah, I like my practice, but I don't like I'm not that kind of in the air space, feeling all these fairies and stuff.

Speaker 2: 10:11

So yes, I was not one of those people so my experiences and I used to laugh a lot because my wife Cass was very much like that. She's had some huge Kundalini experiences.

Speaker 1: 10:22

I've seen her have one. Yeah, she was on the retreat. She was eyes up to third eye wide but like shaking and like so into it and it wasn't even while. It was kind of like she kept going after like it finished and she was like, wow, she's really, she's going at it fully.

Speaker 2: 10:40

Yeah, and so that happened. I remember the first time I went with our dear friend Bri, when I went to India the second time to study with Anandji, and she said to me sometime before the first you know, we just arrived there she's like I'm just really scared that nothing's going to happen for me, like that, and literally the first journey I'm sitting next to her and I just feel something. I look over and it's like arms in the air, full Kundalini experience. And for me I used to joke because my Kundalini experience we don't have a camera on, but it was literally. I'd say it was like a, like a really solid tree moving in a like three knot breeze.

Speaker 2: 11:17

I could feel it but my body would just move and. I'm a subtlest as I have ways.

Speaker 1: 11:21

So these Kundalini experiences which we're talking about just now, which Brian, our friend, felt and your wife Cassie feels in the tree, in the spine, that's kind of, you know, a subtle Kundalini experience which probably is going to last a few minutes, 10 minutes, half an hour, one hour and usually not more. Once the practice is over, kind of the person is still feeling in their body, able to stabilize, and what this podcast episode is about is about it's hard to put names to this, but we can say Kundalini awakenings where. So this is so you've had it for one day and then it came another day, so let's continue.

Speaker 2: 11:58

It went on for roughly a month and a half, I think, from memory, and so it felt longer for me, yeah. Well it was like it was actually a lot longer, but the peak part of it and before it started to stabilize is around about a month and a half. I think I'd have to go back and really examine it.

Speaker 1: 12:15

But whatever, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2: 12:17

Time. That was one of the things about it. That time was. I mean time is relative, I've always known that. But when you have these experiences I mean I was having moments where Cass would go down to the down the road to drop the girls to school and come back and I'd feel actually gone for a year, like it was super strange. Time was super distorted Wow.

Speaker 2: 12:40

And if I had to kind of try to summarize it into one idea and I've heard this expression before in different translations of sutras and things it was literally the. For me it was the terror and the bliss of awakening to one soul. And.

Speaker 2: 12:59

I always thought that awakening would just be bliss, but you know, I think it was Rama Das. Someone said that enlightenment is the ultimate disappointment of the ego and I think that for me it was more like the ultimate fear, Not to say, not to claim enlightenment, but that experience of awakening, or of going through these awakening processes, was the ultimate experience of fear to the ego.

Speaker 2: 13:29

But, I did at the time what it really? It felt like I was kind of walking this very thin line of sanity. That was my deepest fear that when I surrendered into the experiences that in the beginning were primarily consciousness-based and they changed actually, which I'll talk about that as I surrendered there was no ground. There was literally no ground to land on. So as I'd go deeper and deeper into these unity experiences, it started to feel like I wouldn't be able to find my way back, and that would create, at least in me, immense fear, immense fear. So I could be, I could usually be in bliss states, because I said at the start, though, experiences of fear, but that started changing really quickly in the early days. So the initial fear would then something would shift and I'd go into unbelievable bliss, which you know from the outside, and even as I say it, I'm aware that it can sound like literally like bipolar, I mean feelings of like.

Speaker 2: 14:36

I am fully awake and fully enlightened to feelings of total terror and the swinging between that. It's pretty extreme poles and there were certainly times where I really did fear for my sanity, but the thing was that no one around me was scared for that.

Speaker 2: 14:54

And I was super blessed to be held in that space by Kass, by you, by Anandji and all these key people. That really made me understand or maybe trust in what I actually knew, because I did know. I knew that wasn't happening. But then you'd have times of paranoia, I think partly due to lack of sleep as well, because when the Kundalini was going, sometimes I was going days without eating and days without sleep, so that could go bliss, bliss, bliss and then eventually just kind of go, oh shit.

Speaker 1: 15:23

And literally, like right, you said, like you don't. I remember speaking. I literally don't think I fell asleep last night, like didn't get one minute of sleep I was having multiple days of that at times multiple days I couldn't eat at all. I couldn't eat.

Speaker 2: 15:36

I could not stomach anything.

Speaker 1: 15:39

For this was in the peak in the beginning. Yeah, and I, I don't want to speak, I don't want to say the word way, but I and kind of what I'm. People, I know we've never taught to kind of face terror. So I understand, like you want to hold on to the sanity or you want to hold on to the light. Is it? Is that, is that what's? Is it good to do that? Or, when you're feeling that terror, like, what's the approach? Is it to fully go into that darkness?

Speaker 2: 16:12

I feel there's no way through, no way out, but through.

Speaker 2: 16:15

And that was the problem, because it takes a lot of courage to do that and part of my story is that I was actually really forced to do it and because what happened was um Cas had reached out to you and this was maybe a few weeks in or a couple of weeks in. She'd reached out to you for guidance and help. Of course, one of the first things you had me doing before we actually got on on the Zoom with Dr Arju was um Abiyanga, and I started doing that and that was grounding me and it was an oil massage, yeah, and I was having.

Speaker 2: 16:48

I was doing that, you know, very, very regularly and each day, twice a day, and kind of really grounding into my body and I was having, um, I think at that point the experience was moving more into bliss, more into bliss, but then the nights would come in terror, actually that that they said a dark night in the soul and there was a lot of that in it.

Speaker 2: 17:09

So I'd be, everything would be beautiful, everything would be beautiful. And then, all of a sudden, something that energy, that darkness that I hadn't really lent into, hadn't really faced, would creep up, and then I'd be fully in it. And so, anyway, one morning, not long after, I think Cas had spoken to you it might have been a couple of days later and I was, I'd been upstairs in my house and I'd done Abiyanga and I'd come down into our studio, which was down under our house it's like a step ladder down into our studio and I got to the bottom and I had this horrendous cough from COVID that I hadn't been able to shake for like three months.

Speaker 2: 17:43

And it's been coughing, coughing, coughing, and I was naked, but naked, still covered in oil. I hadn't showered yet. I went to bend over and pick up some clothes and I coughed and I completely blew my discount in my lower back and it was such a. It was such a powerful moment because I the pain was one thing and it was excruciating, but I actually knew instantly the ramifications were there. I was in a studio underneath the house that I could not get out of. I knew I wasn't. I was fully seized up. I knew the most I was going to be able to do was get to the bed.

Speaker 2: 18:24

Then there's a really steep staircase up with a trapdoor that I wouldn't be able to get out or out sort of across kind of uneven ground and up a staircase to the house. So I just suddenly realized I'm in a space where an every single crutch that I'd been using to distract from the experience, so I was no longer meditating, and I went. I'd had spoken to a nun, this tiny, told me to drop all meditation practice. He said you're already in the experience. It's not helpful. But I was doing asana. I was doing, you know, shaking my body, trying to move energy.

Speaker 2: 18:57

I was going for walks in the sun and doing all these things that ultimately, yes, they're a practice, but they our practice can also become a crutch you know, a distraction from the actual practice of the experience that I was in, and I think I kind of screamed out in pain and I started crying, I was bawling and I was calling out to Kaz on my no, no, but it wasn't the pain, it was what.

Speaker 2: 19:20

I knew I had to do. So she came downstairs and she said to me what do you want me to do? And I said just get me in the bed. And she's like want me to stay? And I said, no, I think you've got to go. It was a massive step for me because in the subsequent or the previous weeks she really had not left my side. I couldn't handle the experience without her, and she was doing everything. She'd already been doing a lot of oil massage for me. She was holding my, massaging my feet, massaging my head and doing all this intuitive energy healing. That was really grounding me, and she just had this incredible way of trusting what was going on. And the one thing I haven't said is I was so unbelievably sensitive to everyone's energy that I knew if some like instantly if someone was saying something they didn't believe.

Speaker 2: 20:09

So I knew I could trust her fully that way, and so that was the way she was seeing me. She would say to me you're frightened, I have no fear at all. This is a really beautiful experience that you're in, and so that would change me.

Speaker 2: 20:21

But, for me to tell her to leave me alone and stay in that space alone was a huge step. And I laid down in that bed in incredible fear and, in answer to your question, I realized that there was nowhere else to go but into the fear. And the most remarkable thing happened, which wasn't the end of the story, it was kind of the beginning of it, but I started feeling the darkness come on in its full value and I lent in and it was the first time I'd ever lent in and I went through it really quickly and within an instant I was in bliss, unbelievable love, unbelievable bliss. And I already identified the energy as being that energy of Kalimah, that energy of the destruction, of ignorance, the destruction of all. That's not true. And I felt the other expression of that energy, which is just the pure, fierce love of Divine Mother, and it was mind blowing in its scope. It's not something I can describe, it's not what I can describe.

Speaker 2: 21:24

But it was early in the morning and as that happened, the sun had just happened to hit our window for the first time that morning. The whole light changed in the room and I was just laying on our tears pouring down my face, just these tears of grace, and I thought this is it. I mean pure. I'm fully imagined. This is it. It's finally happened. I can't believe it's happened to me. And the whole day was spent like that right.

Speaker 2: 21:50

And the funny thing was the pain excruciating back pain was so distant, as were my thoughts and my emotions. I was so much back in that seat of self. Yes, I was aware there was pain, but it was not me at all and I knew I had to move mindfully, but I could get up and move around a little bit and I wasn't going to try and get up the stairs, but I was like I'm fine, this pain is nothing. And then that night I lay down in bed and the whole thing changed and this is basically the theme of the next month. The pain started coming really to the forefront.

Speaker 2: 22:31

We actually had painkillers in our house from another accident I'd had years before, like strong kind of like opiate ones. We had pannadoles, we had all that stuff. I wasn't going to. There's no way I was willing to take anything. I just wasn't. I couldn't imagine what that would do to me, and so I just sat in the pain and that pain brought on the terror again and I went into literally the darkest night I've ever had, and that was probably when I said to you that I literally had no sleep at all.

Speaker 1: 23:01

So was that again that same dark kind of experience? Yes, and was it? Were you fully going into it again when it showed up again?

Speaker 2: 23:10

Yeah, I couldn't lean into it, it was too much, you couldn't lean into it.

Speaker 1: 23:13

I couldn't lean into it the way I did before that time in the pain.

Speaker 2: 23:15

I couldn't lean into the pain. So I actually went into very dark ego stories, really dark fear-based ego stories, trauma stories, all but not really kind of with a lot of clarity around it, just all victim state stuff really like useless kind of thoughts but dark dark, dark stuff. And real fears around sanity that night.

Speaker 1: 23:38

Tell us more about those, those questionings. Was that a lot, Were you? Okay, I'll start again. Go back. Another question is so this one and a half months to say two months or more, ish, were you like you weren't in this 24 seven, right, you were having breaks?

Speaker 2: 23:58

Well, I was in it 24 seven, it's just like it was literally would shift from intensity like full awakened bliss to darkness and really nothing in between there was no, there's no, quite a quote.

Speaker 1: 24:11

So there was no, there was no kind of normal. Okay, interesting Wow For like one and a half months yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:19

Like I equated it to being you know, you feel like plant medicine, journeys and things where people are in these states, for you know six hours or whatever, but in those states people know that they've taken something and they know that they're coming. Well, you presume that you're coming out of it. But for me, I think that was a lot of the fear, because nothing was induced. I wasn't even doing practice. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:40

It was just happening. There was moments it's not to say that I couldn't function, because at times I was actually when I was in my bliss. I mean, I was just the time with my children and stuff was unbelievable. You know, like I could feel all their emotions. I could change my reactions to things so subtly to adjust what was going on.

Speaker 1: 25:02

Super tuned in more to them than I've ever been.

Speaker 2: 25:05

I was in so much joy being around them and I could. I tried to drive the car a couple of times. That was not a good idea actually, because a couple of like on one way back from horse riding that one of my daughters does. I went into that state again and I managed to get home and I said because I know I cannot drive anymore. This is all prior to doing my back. Once I've done my back, I was really down there for a couple of weeks.

Speaker 2: 25:27

Just had to be in that kind of cave which was it was actually such a blessing to make, to force me into leaning into it, but also One of the realizations I had is that a lot of my fear was around controlling. It was all about controlling, actually, but in this instance, the control was around what am I going to say to my students? We're about to graduate a teacher training crew and about to start a new one. It's like what am I meant to say to them? I didn't want to instill fear in anyone, but what do you say?

Speaker 2: 25:57

And then my parents, who don't even really, you know, wouldn't understand that at all would literally probably want to put me in a mental hospital, and then my brother, who might be the same. And so all these people I had all these people in my mind. That was like I was trying to control what they would all think, which is, you know, the definition of insanity.

Speaker 1: 26:14

anyway, and not being in the present. And not being in the present.

Speaker 2: 26:18

And it became such a gift in the sense that I could. I suddenly said I don't need to lie to anyone, I don't need to do anything. Cast can just say, or I can just say my back's not good and I'm laying down, so I was able to really check out a life and give myself space. That's great. A lot of the problem was trying trying to bring myself out of time for the next meeting or the clouds.

Speaker 2: 26:39

I meant to teach a course that weekend or I had a student to talk to about the upcoming teacher training and these deadlines and time pressures were beyond anything I could handle. And that's eventually cast intuitively. Just decided that all should be cleared that whole. There was nothing in the future diary and I would just be in this room and surrender to the experience and allow myself to move through it.

Speaker 1: 27:01

Yeah, how tell us more about questioning your sanity? Did that happen a lot?

Speaker 2: 27:08

It happened a lot. It happened mainly in the deep dark nights, you know, 2am, 3am, with no sleep and with a lot of energy moving. And I can't there's a backstory to that, because actually the same and it was something I didn't say and I didn't share with you previously the same energy was an energy that first got me to meditation and I've experienced it multiple times in my life. Three or four other times in my life, at really interesting stages in my life, which all ended up linking up and making a lot of sense.

Speaker 1: 27:47

The dark energy.

Speaker 2: 27:47

Yeah, this expanding beyond my ego, self having basically spontaneous experiences of self, of soul, but without context. Previously, without spiritual context. This was the first time. The time before it led me to meditation. This time was the first time it happened with a deep context of yoga, vedantic wisdom and knowledge.

Speaker 2: 28:14

And yet there was still part of me that was really scared. We don't have a context in our culture for these experiences and this is why I think you know I think it was David Hawkins says that you know, if you deep in practice, you should always have a buddy, almost like scuba diving, someone that can hold space for that experience happening, because it's possible. Right, it's not like it's not a very usual thing. It's not like I've had a heap of my students go through things like this. They might have in different ways. Certainly I haven't met any of my students but where it was as intense as what I went through.

Speaker 2: 28:50

But it's incredible when there's support and people that know what's going on. Because you are really fragile Well, I'm sorry I shouldn't say you are. I was really fragile in that state and if someone questioned my sanity I would have believed them. But when I had a nunji telling me it's a really beautiful experience that you're going through and telling me about when it happened to him and other people, when I had you talk to Cass and validate what was going on. And then you know, particularly our zoom call with Dr Raju, because I don't know if you remember that call well.

Speaker 1: 29:25

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 29:27

I remember he, you were trying to get me. We needed my eyes lit up enough that he could see me right and he was going to hear me go. And we were trying to settle that off and he suddenly popped on without me realizing it. I said is that okay? And he said it's very good. And then the first thing he said to me he asked me something and he said you're in bliss consciousness. What seems to be the problem? Yes.

Speaker 2: 29:49

And I actually came out of that zoom call incredibly healed. It wasn't the end of the back and forth, but it was a huge shift in that. So the questioning I never truly believed it. There was never, I know, at the deepest level. I never thought that was going on.

Speaker 1: 30:07

Thoughts.

Speaker 2: 30:08

And the more you know what it was. So paranoid actually, like in my most darker states was so paranoid. I would start thinking like if Cass was talking to Anandji or someone at Saffa, I'd start thinking what if they are saying, what if they're questioning my sanity and they're saying I should, but I need to like they're not right, I'm having this experience? And then I'd be like, oh man, I'm like in such a paranoid loop, you know, and I'd be able to bring myself out of it. But I can go down those paths. It makes a lot of sense with the energy that's going, but also the lack of sleep, I mean it's enough to make anyone feel like that you?

Speaker 2: 30:45

get four, three or four nights in a row where you really haven't slept for a moment.

Speaker 1: 30:50

Yeah, in your previous experiences before learning to meditate the dark experiences. How does it compare an intensity to this one?

Speaker 2: 31:00

I'd say I never surrendered into them enough. The first one, the main one, and they all have a really similar flavor, so I'll just share the main one, which was literally the catalyst for me to learn to meditate. I was going to sleep right at that transition between waking state and sleep. I woke up just with a jolt of energy and I was in a full out-of-body like a deep spiritual experience again where I felt like all my thoughts, feelings, emotions had like an echo and it was so. It's just such a profound experience to have, with no context, that it literally within a moment sent me into a full panic attack.

Speaker 2: 31:45

But the panic attack because panic attacks can actually cause a similar feeling to that. Panic attacks can create a kind of out-of-body type feeling. But this was an out-of-body feeling that triggered a panic attack. And then when I started meditating I started having the same experiences and sometimes it would trigger a panic attack in my meditation, but within that context I was able to stay and it would release, and I'd realize that I was. You know, my body was just kind of stabilizing from those previous previous experiences and really ultimately kind of releasing that energy of anxiety that was still within the nervous system and that kind of bio-memory.

Speaker 2: 32:21

But it was a very familiar state. The thing is, when it came on the plane, because of my breath experience and practices, I was able to go into it without any panic, even though a panic attack felt like it was coming on. I just slowed my breathing down on it, I just went into the state you have more mastery.

Speaker 2: 32:38

And it may not have contained so much fear if I wasn't on a plane, because it was a very strange contradiction that I felt claustrophobic and yet I was like totally beyond my body in the plane. But I felt trapped on that plane. I wasn't in a safe space to have an experience like that.

Speaker 1: 32:55

Great. So, yeah, let's continue the story here, anything else.

Speaker 2: 33:01

Yeah, some really important things, because I'm really talking about a lot of the fear. But what happened is somewhere along the line and it was actually leading into that initial disc injury. I think it might have played a part in it. I said that the Kundalini experience was consciousness based and I wasn't even really calling it a Kundalini experience at that point. I mean, it doesn't really matter what you call it, it was an experience, but it was a consciousness experience. But then something started shifting and what was happening particularly at night but it could happen at any time in the day as I would go into spontaneous what I had considered to be more the expression of Kundalini that I'd witnessed before, which was a lot of energy shaking through the body and at times it was really full on. I mean, I was bouncing, like laying on my back and bouncing a foot off the bed and full shaking spasms.

Speaker 2: 33:58

It felt incredible, even though it probably looked really frightening. It felt like a huge release of stuff that had been kind of building up in the consciousness state, and then it would just rush through me and it would feel so incredible.

Speaker 1: 34:12

Kind of looking like an exorcism. Looking like an exorcism oh, like bloody when you put the AED, when you kind of shock someone's heart to wake them up and then jump, and that type of stuff.

Speaker 2: 34:24

And for like sometimes like half an hour or something.

Speaker 2: 34:27

And then I remember one night Cass and I just laughing so much because I stopped after one of them and I said I look like a cockroach that's just had one of those baits, you know, and there are the four of them. And then I start and soon as I laugh I win again and I was back in it. So once that energy started and that continued on and then I did my disc in my back and then subsequently I kind of at some point I managed to get it back, at some point I managed to get out of my studio and get upstairs, which was unbelievable in terms of just seeing some space and being able to get outside and things and sit in the sun, and I started feeling a lot better. And then it was kind of oscillating with the shaking energy and then these kind of really grounded, expanded states, and I would say that primarily, I just stabilized into this state of bliss and I was.

Speaker 2: 35:24

I couldn't believe it. I still can't even go even close to describing what I was feeling, but I was just thinking I'm in just this unbelievable love, like bliss within love, without just so profound, and I thought this is stabilizing, this is just the way it is right. But the strangest thing that happened, the whole path had disappeared, like I, literally I could not remember anything from Tantra. I couldn't remember my mantra. I couldn't remember anything.

Speaker 2: 35:59

I literally thought I will never teach again. If I teach again, it will only ever be in silence. There's never a word I'll ever be able to say that will help. And I don't even know. I can't remember any of it. And there's, there was a strangest feeling of emptiness beneath the bliss. That was a little bit disconcerting, but I was so in bliss that it didn't really matter. But it almost felt artificial, like I'd taken copious amounts of MDMA or something and was having an experience that wasn't backed by wisdom.

Speaker 2: 36:32

And this is a really important point, because what ended up happening was with this rise of actual energy coming through my body and that, and it started really like shaking things up and I started moving into. So one day cast left and I went out and I laid in the back lounge and I didn't know what was going to happen. The Kundalini started, the body started shaking and then it started moving into consciousness and it was actually. I asked myself the question actually, this is what's sorry, this is a backtrack. This is what triggered the Kundalini experience. I asked myself the question what's the meaning of all this? Why have I been scared? What's going on?

Speaker 2: 37:12

And then the shaking started and then this answer came through loud and clear and it says because you don't trust. And I said I don't trust in what? And that said you don't trust in. I say I said it from somewhere, but it was not coming from me because you don't trust in divine order. And I thought, what do you mean? I don't trust in divine order. This is everything I teach, this is all the practices I do. But I realized at that moment I was like what does that mean? If I don't trust in divine order, then I literally don't trust that there's anything divine, because if there is the divine, then there's divine order. They're one and the same thing. And at that moment I got this flash through my whole life. I have the whole kind of it was almost like a mandala, this whole intricate web of my life showing me how everything had happened for now. And so, of course, I've just been delivered a verifiable, visceral experience of what divine order was. And again I just bowled and that trusting was at the heart of all of it. Because if I wasn't trusting that, how could I trust that I was safe, how could I trust that if I lent into it that I wouldn't go crazy, how could I trust that? These people that were telling me I was fine actually knew what. They really knew what they were talking about and weren't just mistaking what was going on with me for being something else right, and so that trusting became a massive theme.

Speaker 2: 38:42

And then really, what began to happen and this is what I came to realize later this is my interpretation anyway, and you know this is. It can be taken, might be taken a different way, but I don't think there's any such experience as awakening without moving through the darkness. So and or you don't even have to call it the darkness, that's probably just that was the expression for me, and for other people it would be nothing like that, but without moving through our shadow, without actually for me, all of this history stuff that started coming up. It was literally my karma. That's what the web of karma is. The self is sitting back, it's never been damaged, but it's fully tied up and trapped in this web of karma, and that karma, you could say, is your memory, your conditioning, your past experiences, including all your traumas and all your things.

Speaker 2: 39:38

And so what actually started happening is that Casper'd leave the house. It always happened in the morning. The nighttime was like frightening and it was almost like a softening up, a shaking up or a softening up and a readying me for something else, and I kind of started to trust that. And then in the morning she would leave and I'd lay in the sun and without doing anything, the Kundalini would come and I would literally go through entire timelines in my life with no effort, like what people report on plant medicines, when you're guided by spirit. So I was literally being guided by spirit. Look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this.

Speaker 2: 40:15

And I say, for instance, that one of the first ones was the timeline of my relationship with my father. But this time, instead of seeing it, I knew it all very well from my own victim state. But this time I got flipped around. I saw everything through his eyes, all the times I heard him, all the times I pushed him away, all the damage I did in that kind of teenage thing of trying to push away that love, and again I just cried these cleansing tears and I felt like that whole thing healed and it literally went like that through every major thing in my life, early, early kind of teenage, sexual confusion, trauma, shame, all that sort of stuff, whatever the key things were that I pushed down so deep that I didn't even know were there, and so I guess you could say that for years there was all this kind of spiritual bypassing going on. I wasn't doing it deliberately, it just wasn't being that. That's why they call it the shadow.

Speaker 1: 41:10

Yeah, and I'll say that perhaps one can move through the shadow or the ego or the dark parts of themselves or the ruxuses of themselves, the kind of negative energies, in different ways, totally than Kundalini awakening or intense experiences. I think it doesn't have to necessarily be intense. I can't say I'm still got my egos and darkness like what could come for me in the future. But when I look at, for example, my teachers, I don't know their history, maybe they have had something like this, but I remember one of speaking to one of them about it and that it doesn't have to happen to everyone to reach certain stages of their evolution.

Speaker 2: 41:53

I totally, 100% agree, and I'm glad you said that, because I didn't mean it to come across like that, but one way or another, I feel that we have to see that stuff.

Speaker 2: 42:04

And so people can see it through therapy, they can see it through plant medicines. There's many ways and I think for me, I think a lot of it got pushed down when I started meditating. I think I just got so attracted to the bliss and the comfort and the security of this new practice that I kind of subconsciously pushed it down. And I also believe that I was meant to go through this experience for whatever reason, to share it, because that was another thing, that when I asked on another time why this was happening, it was because you're going to share it and to hold space for people that have gone through it. I don't think. I think you're 100% right. It doesn't need to be hard. And the only reason it was hard, for me, to be clear, is my resistance. If I had not been trying to control, if I had not been resisting it, the same thing could have happened, maybe on night, one or two. Instead it was on night.

Speaker 1: 42:59

Whatever it was, there was so much resistance, and not only hard but also intense. For example I think of another way you mentioned counselling plant medicine. There's also the banana treatment, which is that works on that level. There are also different ayurvedic treatments, a bunch of caramers where, sure, for some people it comes out as intense, but some people it's kind of like just taking away without much of their awareness, which is totally, and the experiences that I'm replaying in terms of these, the clearing of different timelines and aspects of my life were not intense.

Speaker 2: 43:35

They were actually so held in by spirit or so guided that there was no fear in that at all. It was an incredible experience of detachment and being able to see it from your higher self and see how all of that happened for me and through me. So that was not the fear. The only fear in this whole experience was my resistance.

Speaker 1: 44:00

That was it.

Speaker 2: 44:01

That was it. The experience was definitely intense, but intensity doesn't need to be frightening. Many people have intense experiences without it being frightening. It was just part of my karma and part of that kind of web that I'm saying kind of began to disintegrate through the experience. Was this fear and need to control and I was unaware that was in the shadow, that the different ways that I was trying to manipulate and control life to feel safe was outside of the field of my awareness, even with all of my practice?

Speaker 1: 44:34

Great.

Speaker 2: 44:34

So after that, after the timelines, so that continued on, and then I started having really profound dreams that were guiding me in what to do, and so I'm just going to kind of cut to the end of the story, really, because I could tell the story goes.

Speaker 1: 44:53

I want to put some things.

Speaker 2: 44:55

The kind of end of the story is that we have this friend who I was yet she's a really dear friend now but I was yet to meet and Cass had been doing some work with Kelly Phoenix Rose and she's an amazing shamanic killer and just powerful medicine woman and I'd never met her. I don't think at this stage I hadn't met her in person. I'd seen bits on Instagram and things. And I had this dream one night where I was. It was kind of it was basically an astral dream because I was in the state, I was in laying in the bed, I was in having the experience, I was in knowing all that, but I was asleep and in the dream Cass was attending to a pudget table in the room and she was kind of tidying up and Kelly was standing in the room underneath the stairs, right where I did my back, and she's looking at Cass, kind of Cass fussing around and stuff, and then Cass was telling the story and then Kelly just kind of looked with this energy like that no more words needed to be said and she then she looked straight at me and the most piercing eyes and she said you've been preparing for this all along. And I kind of woke up from that dream just so, with so much clarity and this, knowing that I had to go and see her because I was, you know, I was starting to get in a really good state. I was not grounded.

Speaker 2: 46:23

The herbs that had been prescribed from the Rajas were doing their work, for certain, and they were grounding me, and that was like, arguably the biggest shift in the process was when those herbs arrived and I started doing all that, but there was still healing work that needed to be done, and so she booked me in just to see her in this space that she was working at a new point, and I had immense resistance to that because I did not want to be in general, in the public, I hadn't been out of my house.

Speaker 2: 46:53

And then, anyway, she felt into it and she actually lived in a property out in Jural at the time and she said, no, it's not going to happen there, you're going to come out to my property, and so anyway. So, anyway, it's a couple of weeks went by and then she said it's going to be this Sunday, and so I woke up that morning and we drove out there and I was feeling really good, really good. And then, as we started. It's kind of like this road that winds up to a house and I felt like I was kind of going up the belly of a snake.

Speaker 2: 47:20

And I could feel the energy of, I could feel her pulling me in. And I started going into a very altered state again, a little bit of fear, but just more, just a very, very altered state, and I thought, all right, this is the, the work's already beginning. I'm coming to this space and this is a whole. I could like tell another hour story in this. I'm just going to try and keep, keep quotes I got out.

Speaker 1: 47:45

I've had goose bumps twice when you've mentioned her, when, when she looked at you, I just got this shivering goose bumps and then again going up the hill, her pulling you in.

Speaker 2: 47:53

Yeah, I still I've got them speaking. You're sitting under underneath a black cockatoo picture that was painted for by one of our dear friends, lisa. The point for us, after a whole series of events that have happened in Casamite life around black cockatoos it's like a real spirit bird for us. I got out of that car black cockatoos circling above our car. I was like wow.

Speaker 2: 48:20

And then I and she was. I didn't see her but I felt where she was and she was down in this teepee away from a house. I was down this muddy hill that had been raining a lot. I was in my ugg boots. My disc in my back was still done. I started walking down this hill and I was trying to like try to like be cool. I'm trying to be cool here, man, Don't freak out, it's all good. I slipped over, like literally fell down the hill. It's like pop back up somehow, Like as I fell, pop back up, slid down like surfing down this hill and then like ended up right near her. No, back, like my back should have been like in agony, it didn't hurt. She turned, she stood at the front of this teepee.

Speaker 2: 48:59

She looked into my eyes and it was the exact same thing for my dream, like full, and I just went into a total altered state. She hugged me. I thought I was pretty stable till she hugged me and I could feel what she was feeling and it was. I could feel how unstable I was. Like you know, when you hug, like I was hugging someone so grounded and I was, I could feel my energy, Like I might not grounded at all. She sat me down and she did this ceremony and there's a lot, a lot of ego resistance actually, because I was sitting in agony. She had me sitting up and I'm like what the hell? She knows, I've done a disc in my back. Why is she sitting me up? And I was like she's a is this a shamanic thing.

Speaker 2: 49:36

trust, just trust. That was that big thing of trust. Again, she eventually laid me down and we, we went through this whole journey. I started telling her about those past experiences that I'd mentioned to you and we landed on the one that happened just before, not just before, like 20 years before the one I told you Like. So I'd had these experiences like three times or four times, and as soon as we hit that, she knew we were in the space. And then she asked me a couple of type questions and then she said when was the first time you felt unsafe or something? And I just I instantly went back to this period in my life.

Speaker 2: 50:14

That was around about 13,. Like up until then, I just felt totally grounded in my body, total, just in a kind of blissful childhood life. And then a lot of changes happened and at that point we were laying down in. I was laying down at TP, she was doing shamanic work above me and when I said that age, there wasn't even any like storm around the whole TP, like the thunder clap, like I've never heard like literally shook the whole ground and she just smiled and started doing like all this bet that she just knew we're in it.

Speaker 2: 50:50

Afterwards, cass said to me what the hell were you two doing when that thunder hit? She said there was no cloud. She was sitting on the deck of a house. She said all the horses bolted, all the animals bolted, everything ran away, but it's like I don't know. I mean, just this nature was, like, fully involved in that experience.

Speaker 2: 51:08

And anyway, from that point she, she kind of like really intuitively got me back to the, because I thought I'd looked at everything, I thought everything had come through me, but there was this one key thing that happened. And really it was this kind of point in my life where I'd stopped trusting myself and I started morphing into being a people pleaser. And she said to me well, how do you think that little boy feels since you abandoned him? And it was I'd never, nothing had ever struck me so much in my heart, like it was really profound what she said. And she said I want you to say to him, like I want you to tell him something, tell him how you feel now. It was so funny because I felt like a bad actor, like I was like I'm sorry. I love you.

Speaker 2: 52:00

I'm sorry. And I was saying all these things and then this voice came from really deep within, this whisper that was from somewhere beyond me and it said I trust you. And as soon as that happened, she didn't say another word and this whole kind of healing happened In the end. She said to me I want you to put that boy somewhere safe inside you, which was instantly in my heart, which was the space where I was feeling very unstable. And as soon as that landed in there, I felt myself, I felt everything ground and the love kind of really ground. And then she said to me and what you whispered is going to be your mantra Whenever these experiences come on. I want you to say to him I trust you. So this is the end of the story. I got home that night and I was like really in deep, deep bliss and I thought you know, everything's fine, everything's amazing. I'm fully like I know what's going on. But again, this bloody sleep thing was around about midnight.

Speaker 2: 53:07

I couldn't sleep and I was starting to feel a bit agitated and that little bit of fear was coming in. But it must have been about midnight and I'd finally drifted off to sleep. And I had this dream I'd been dumped up around the corner from my house and I was freezing cold. The ground had frozen, there was snow around and I was dressed barefoot in shorts and a t-shirt and I had to make the bed and I had to take my way home and I started going down this hill and I started sliding out of control, sliding out of control so I crawled on my hands and knees so I got to go the other way. It's flatter that way Walked along that road and I hit another bit of ice and as I started I went down into all fours and as I started sliding I started going into that state that I'd been going into, that darkness, and I could feel everything going and I was grabbing onto the robe.

Speaker 2: 54:01

It was like I was going into a vortex or a hole. And as I looked up, there was these identical twins, the same age that I'd said 13 years old, boy and girl, completely see-through, like spirit, with like this afro hair like I had when I was a kid, like this curly white hair. My hair wasn't white, it's white now, boy and girl, brother and sister. And the brother up was terrified of what I was, of me thinking I was crazy, and he was trying to get the sister to not see me and I, as I was like falling into this hole, I screamed out to them and I said it's okay, you can. And I woke, fold up and said trust me.

Speaker 2: 54:45

And as I said that this voice from higher, along with further, along long timeline, whispered to me, like I whispered it to that 13 year old, to me now, and said I trust you. And it was like this incredible thing where it just went through my whole timeline from somewhere else, like in the future or a higher state to me now back to that 13 year old boy, and then the whole thing felt healed and from that moment on I was like fully grounded.

Speaker 1: 55:15

Amazing Right. I just like want to right now pay my gratitude for you. Sharing this is so profound and for you to open up and share with people and this is like a huge thing for your personal life and your personal evolution, and it's very, very trusting of you to share this. Because we talked about we've been talking about this for a few weeks about I had this idea of doing a podcast and doing a different people's experience, and you know you had some resistance, some uncertainty about it.

Speaker 2: 55:50

I just want to really appreciate it and thank you, dylan, and I think it's a really important subject and I really hope that, as people listen to me, that there's it doesn't induce any fear, because it's honestly. The fear is in the unknown, the surrender to the unknown. There's nothing ever but bliss.

Speaker 2: 56:11

There's nothing ever but bliss. But I feel like these because people can really mistake Kundalini to be a frightening thing and it's a massive misunderstanding, because what we're experiencing is not the Kundalini the Kundalini is not to be feared but what we end up experiencing sometimes what I experienced was a heightened release of of past traumas and and karma it wasn't.

Speaker 2: 56:39

that's not Kundalini. That's like the hose that's been blocked up with mud and you turn the hose on expecting water and mud comes out. The water comes after the mud clears, and so all that stuff was mind made, ego stuff that the actual experience is nothing to be feared. And I would never I mean I would never trade that experience for anything.

Speaker 1: 56:58

Yeah, I just want to add before I kind of I just want to briefly talk about post, like where you are today, but before that I want to add you mentioned to have a buddy in this and also really to have a guru or a mentor, and you were talking, you referenced Anandji, your guru, many times. Guru in Sanskrit means heavy, and the role of the guru is to act like a heavyweight, to a stabilizer, especially in situations like this when the shishya, when the pupil, is experiencing a lot of space and air element, they're experiencing a lot of subtle not so much gross they're experiencing this very up in the air and the guru plays that role of stabilizing and being like that, that anchor for the shishya or the student to be anchored in being. So now, just very briefly, like now, kind of like I mean, obviously it's never like how it was before, but reasonably back to quite a quite normal right.

Speaker 2: 57:57

I think all states stabilize, so it's. I just feel like myself, I feel that I feel like myself looking through a clear perception rather than through the lens of so much, the web of karma and and yeah great those sorts of things.

Speaker 2: 58:16

I think that for me, you know, obviously the process of awakening is just an ongoing thing, and and I'm certainly stabilized somewhere way short of those peak experiences, and actually for that I'm really grateful because all things in their time right and some of those experiences were beyond a state that you could very reasonably be in in the in normal life.

Speaker 1: 58:42

And you can get to those states or be in those those experiences and stages of consciousness without it being overwhelming like in every day, like, for example, like when I've seen I'm seeing you now for the first time in, but since then, right in person, I haven't seen you for probably a year or so in person and, like you know, it's not like I noticing you a huge radical new Marcus, like a brand new. You're like still at the same house with the same family doing the same stuff. I can definitely see from yesterday we did a lecture together where you interviewed me, like which I loved you interviewing me and your knowledge and input. I can definitely see that positive effect and I want my question around that was how much like do you feel you really let a big weight off? Because, like you've got rid of a lot of karma, you can feel like it's a huge shift, huge huge shift, of course.

Speaker 2: 59:41

And then there's, you know, then I think, with a lot of these things too, it's it's not necessarily linear, and so the process has continued for certain. There's been.

Speaker 2: 59:53

There's like whole other stories that I could tell that are that are around deeper healings, deeper awakenings of the heart and different things, and so it's ongoing and I feel this is the thing right.

Speaker 2: 1:00:05

You know the the Buddha says that enlightenment is not the end, is the beginning, right, I think that part of these experiences, I think, is to realize that these states, these whatever, whatever you call it, these like increasing states of awakening, they're not abnormal than everything short of of getting rid of our past traumas and shadow stuff is abnormal. It's like when you took an Ayurveda right. Like health is a normal state, you know where it's become normalized to live from trauma and to live from all these things. But as this stuff, you know, increasingly unravels and it's kind of like for me it's, I visualize it's like pulling a thread and because it's all interrelated it's all this conditioning and this web of karma that's interrelated that thread goes and the whole thing starts to unravel and so life becomes not abnormal but normal and that was perhaps the biggest realization for me that I just feel more myself. Does that make sense? Like I don't feel like and.

Speaker 2: 1:01:10

I think. Part of the fear is that I wouldn't be myself Like. Part of the fear was like what the hell are people going to think if I'm in this unity state Because someone's experience was going so far into that is like I thought there would be no self? This is such a misunderstanding, because the self, the self, is what we are. We are that consciousness and that self is unique. That soul is unique. It's not the ego story that's unique. The ego story is actually super predictable and super similar across most people.

Speaker 2: 1:01:44

The unique self is beneath that, and so I think you, I don't feel different. I feel just more of myself yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:01:53

I love it, perfect. And I love the vertical time as well, the nonlinear time. So, thanks, marcus. Your meditation and yoga collective, which you and your wife run, is called the Sattva Life, so if you want to check that out, you do online stuff as well. We do yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:02:10

So online, in person in Sydney Northern Beaches and if you want to connect with me to have aerobics support throughout, if you experience anything or know anyone with the herbs and with the practices for the body, you can reach out to Vidal Veda for consultation and say the Shaman's name one more time.

Speaker 2: 1:02:27

Kelly Phoenix Rose.

Speaker 1: 1:02:30

Sure Many people in Gentry to explore her.

Speaker 2: 1:02:32

I am. She's a phenomenal woman and I want to just say as well, dylan, I want to express my gratitude when we're talking about the Guru and the one to help grounds in this state, because having your support was really fundamental, so I highly recommend if anyone's going through these sorts of experience to reach out to Dylan, because there was really nothing quite like having you and Dr Raju supporting me.

Speaker 1: 1:02:58

It made me, it was a massive turning point and that's why I knew like, like for now I'll start you on some things, but we definitely need this. This was in a strong way. We need Dr Raju and yeah, I think that week or couple weeks we had like a couple people at least extra in addition to you have Kundalini experiences and so on. And, by the way, like in my personal practice, out of probably the oh, I'm the patients I've said, I don't know I haven't counted how many patients, but maybe around 1000. I don't know if I've hit a thousand yet, Less than I can count on my hands that I've known on both my hands so under 10 people that I know, yeah, who have had kind of this level of intense. It's definitely from my experience, which is my limited, very short career, it's rare without a doubt.

Speaker 1: 1:03:47

So yeah, okay, thanks. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:03:50

Anything else you want to mention? Great Thank you for listening. So one more thing Marcus told me a couple of weeks later when I saw him in person he goes, dylan, I forgot to share the most important thing that helped me and that was Japa. And Japa is a repetition of mantra and specific month is to enliven specific energies and typically done with a, with a Malabi or Japa Malar, which is a necklace of beads, a garland of beads, which you use to count the month. Isn't? That allowed him to preoccupy his mind and his energy onto those monthers which were given by his teacher. So we've done a whole podcast episode on Japa with Swami Purnat Chaitanya. You can check that out, and Japa and the science of mantra and the science of sound. So if you want to check more about Marcus and see what he does, you can check out the Sattva life.

Speaker 1: 1:04:47

If you want to book a consultation with me to enhance your health in whatever way, whether it's spiritual health, physical health, mental health, emotional health you can go to vitalvedacomau forward slash bookings. My intention when working with clients is to make you self-sufficient in balancing your physiology, so to give you the principles, the techniques, getting to know yourself and then moving forward. You know, maybe it's some top ups, follow up consultations, but predominantly it's making you self-sufficient in your health. And if you enjoyed this, please leave a review. We really appreciate it. Please share on Instagram story. Let me know what you think. Let me know if you've had similar experiences. Hey, I'm. I'm open to interview more people. If you've had it, if you know someone who's had radical Kundalini awakening experiences, email media at vitalvedacomau. And stay tuned, subscribe to the podcast to hear more episodes on the topic. And until then, my friend, much love.